Friday, May 10, 2013


To all you producers of words: please stop swearing.  For the sake of your audience, elevate your language above crude speech.  You lose respect when you swear.

You're not dying!

I once watched a video about API design.  Rather, I once watched part of a video about API design.  I had to stop after the 5th or 6th expletive.

API design.

API design?!  A discussion about API design is probably the last thing in the world that deserves to be littered with swearing!

You're not dying.  Your family isn't dying.  Your arm isn't being severed.  And even these terrible situations don't merit debasing yourself by swearing -- much less API design.

I really want(ed) to share your stuff...

Too frequently, I'm reading an interesting article when @#$&!  Out of nowhere (and completely out of context) I'm jarred by a four-letter word.  Why did they ruin it?  I wanted to share this and now I don't.

I don't want to share with my coworkers, family members or friends something profane -- for sharing implies endorsement, and I don't want to be associated with such things.

If you want it to be shareable, leave out the swear words.

Make me laugh, not cringe

Instead of attacking me by swearing, invite me to laugh with you.  Replace poor words with ridiculous or benign ones.  Or channel an unloveable critter/substance/thing to express your shock/displeasure/pain: Rats! Mucus! Taxes!

(Let me be clear: that was "Taxes" not "Texas.")

Yes, swearing sometimes makes some people laugh.  Bathroom humor makes some people laugh, too.  There are much better ways of making people laugh: choose a better way.

And, yes, swearing will garner attention.  A baseball bat to the head will also garner a certain amount of attention.  You don't want that kind of attention.  And in the end, it's better to lead people through charisma and intelligence than through head shots.

Use honey, not vinegar.

You're smarter than that

We don't live in a high school locker room.  Swearing is a cheap alternative to thoughtfulness.  Demonstrate your intelligence by expressing yourself accurately and powerfully through well-chosen words.  People think you're dumb when you swear.  Go ahead, A/B test it.

When your mouth is foul, your brain is discredited by association.

It's who I am

Some will say, "It's who I am.  Deal with it."  Well, they'd probably say, "$#%!, it's who I am *$!@.  @$#& deal with it.  *@&# $%@!"

Swearing isn't an identity.  You control your mouth.  You have a brain.  Use it wisely.

Thank you

To those who speak well, thank you.  I frequent an IRC channel that has an enforced family-friendly policy.  The admins gently remind people to keep it clean, which they generally do.  And it's great!  I feel comfortable there.  I respect the admins and others there.

Keep it clean and make the world better, muskrat!

1 comment:

  1. Seriously, pull the stick out of your arse, swearing is beneficial for you